The Dead Parrot Sketch - Monty Python

Aller, pour inaugurer la rubrique humour, voici une des versions (incomplète) du sketch The Dead Parrot des Monty Python. Je reparlerai souvent des Monty Python parce qu'ils ont vraiment fait des sketchs géniaux et des films cultes. Dans ce sketch, John Cleese essaye de faire admettre à Michael Palin que le perroquet qu'il lui a vendu est mort.



Pour ceux qui ne comprennent pas tout, j'ai rapidement retranscris l'échange.
 Voir le script du sketch...

Hello, I wish to register a complaint.
Hello, Miss?  
What do you mean "miss"?
I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!
Sorry. We're closing for lunch.
Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.
Oh yes, the Norwegian Blue...What's wrong with it?
 I'll tell you what's wrong with it. He's dead, that's what's wrong with it!
 No, no, he's resting; look.
Look, my lad, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
No no he's not dead, he's, he's resting!
Resting?
Yes, resting! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue! Beautiful plumage, isn't it?
The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.
No! He's resting!
 All right then, if he's resting, I'll wake him up! Hello, Polly I've got a nice cuttle fish for you if you wake up Mister Polly Parrot...
There, he moved!
No, he didn't, that was you pushing the cage!
I didn't!!
Yes, you did!
HELLO POLLY!!!!! Polly!!! Polly Parrot, wake up! 
 Now that's what I call a dead parrot.
No,he's stunned!
 I've definitely had enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I bought it not half an hour ago, you assured me that its lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out after a long squawk.
Well, he's...he's pining for the fjords.
Pining for the Fjords?! What kind of talk is that?, look, why did it fall flat on his back the moment I got it home?
The Norwegian Blue prefers keeping on it's back! Beautiful bird, lovely plumage!
 Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the  first place was that it had been nailed there.
Well, of course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed it there, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, andVOOM! 
This parrot wouldn't "voom" if I put four thousand volts through it! He's bleeding demised!
 No no! He's pining!
Iit's not pining! 'It's  passed on! This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! This is a late parrot. it's a stiff! Bereft of life,it
rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed him to the perch he'd be pushing up the daisies! It has  run down the curtain and joined the choir invisibile.  This is an ex-parrot!
Well, I'd better replace it, then.
If you want to get anything done in this country you've got to complain 'til you're blue in the mouth.
 I've had a look around the back of the shop, and we're right out of parrots.
I see. I get the picture.
I got a slug.
 Does it talk?
Not really.
Well, it's hardly a  replacement, is it?
If you go to my brother's  pet shop in Bolton, He will replace the parrot
  Yeah, all right.

Pour les non anglophones, une vague traduction ici

J'adore leur accent anglais et la mauvaise foi du vendeur.